Last week I became a grand parent for the third time, which to me, is one of life’s greatest joys. To see my sons face as he became a father for the first time and the love in his eyes for his new daughter is something I will treasure for ever, especially as I know how long he has waited for this day and now his happiness is complete. He has a woman to love and her son Troy, to complete the family. Here he is after Jasmine Leah was born by cesarean section last Saturday, two and a half weeks early, weighing 6lb 2oz. You can see how elated he is, holding his bundle of joy, just as I felt when he and his three brothers were born; the love is never diluted, however many babies you have. Each one is special and precious when they come into the world and stays that way until they enter adolescence, which as all parents know is a trying time but with perseverance and understanding, they come out the other side and eventually become parents themselves to start the cycle of life again. It is so satisfying to watch your family expand and flourish; to have your genes carry on for another generation, knowing that you (and my then husband) have made that happen. I do feel a little sad that said ex husband and I cannot get on because it would be nice if we could enjoy our grand children together; after all, we created them.We already have two grand children, born to our eldest son and they too, are going to have a new baby sister in a few short weeks. Here they are with their new cousin.
I have to shamefully admit, that when my first grand child Rhys was born nine years ago, I was not really ready to be a grand parent. I was only 44 and naively thought, that I was too young to be called Granny! This was a myth, of course, for one of my friends become one when she was in her mid thirties and she didn’t care about her image. If anything, she could have passed for her grand child’s mother, as women are having babies later these days due to career choices (and financial ones too – some ones got to pay the mortgage!)
I am pleased to say that 10 years down the line, I don’t mind be called Granny. In fact I am known as nanny Kay, which makes me sound like a Mary Poppin’s kind of nanny instead of the old fashioned idea of a Granny sitting in her rocking chair knitting bootees, whilst listening to the Archers. I think that was the problem, it was all about the image of being a grand parent, which after all, turned out to be psychological!
I do hope that the novelty of having grand children doesn’t wear off like it did with my own mother. Sadly she decided to estrange herself from my children because she didn’t like my ex husband or the way he and the boys treated me. It was incomprehensible to me, how she could turn her back on her own flesh and blood and I was deeply upset for a long time. Her rejection was like a slap in the face to me; an insult to what I had created. Surely family ties are designed by instinct not to be broken? Isn’t the love you have for your offspring supposed to be unconditional? And the offspring of your offspring? Obviously not because as recently as 3 days ago, I broached the subject with her over the phone and she still stands firm on her decision. She had the decency to congratulate me on my happiness for the new addition and said she really meant it but has no intention of meeting her new great grand child.
The only positive I have gleaned from this, is that I will never follow in her footsteps and intend to keep my family close to me at all times and not move a hundred miles away like she did.