Time: my guilty pleasure 

I don’t know about you but for me, there never seem to be enough hours in the day, or week, to do the things I want/need to do. This could be because I take on too many commitments, or it could be due to poor time management on my part. I could be paranoid and worrying for nothing. Either way, I always feel guilty about the way I spent my time or waste it. I never used to be like this, so it could be symptom of growing older.

Here I am, on a Sunday morning, rising before eight, just so I can have time to write this blog. And I am doing it because it’s the only time I have and I feel guilty for not writing anything for three weeks as I have taken on the commitment. Crazy hey? I have been racking my brains about something interesting to write about and originally was going to rant about the lousy weather we have been experiencing this month of August, supposedly the height of summer. I even found an appropriate picture for the post, see below:

But then I felt guilty about that as well, in comparison to the awful news recently about the hundreds of migrants losing their lives in such tragic circumstances; it pared into significance. So I put my thinking cap on again and came up with with other things I felt guilty about. They culminated in the way I spend my time, my most valuable commodity.

The words above are from a post on Facebook yesterday and they really struck a cord in me. They are supposed to have been from the lips of Mother Theresa; I don’t know if that is true but they are very wise words. For if our time is valuable to us, then who we spend it with is important and we should choose wisely. This also applies to our hobbies and interests. My hobby/interest is writing but sometimes I struggle to find the opportunity  in the little spare time I have, to actually do any. I love my family but usually they take priority over my hobby.

I feel guilty about the time I had last week to do some writing for my novel writing course; I was just too tired and not in the mood. The other half was on night shift and usually that is the perfect time for me to write; when I can completely focus without any distraction, or guilt that I am ignoring him. And what did I do? I relaxed and watched TV. If he’s home and I have to go in the other room for peace, I feel guilty about that too.

Even worse than that, I ignored a phone call from my mum when I was sitting right next to the phone and listened to her leave a message for me. This probably sounds worse than it is because if you knew my mother, she expects me to stay on the phone for two hours talking about herself. She loves talking for the sake of it and I just wanted to relax after a hard days work. But I did feel guilty. I chose to spend my time the way I wanted to and prioritised. That’s what it is all down to really. If you are time poor; you have to prioritise, that’s the answer.

So here I am prioritising my time: not staying in bed to catch up with some sleep but doing the things I want to do. So the rest of the day I can do the things I need to do, like spending time with family which is important. I’m not the only person who has this problem; it’s a product of the world we live in now; we want it all. We just have to find the time to have it all. And if we waste this precious commodity that is time, then we only have ourselves to blame.

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4 Responses to Time: my guilty pleasure 

  1. jennypellett says:

    I love, love love this post! You’ve put into words exactly what I’ve been struggling with for I don’t know how long. Writing is important to me too but I feel guilty taking time to do it. Families are so demanding I sometimes long for a bolt hole where they can’t get to me!! I get up early to either read or write – at least as we age we don’t seem to need quite so much sleep. I’m not a night person at all so early mornings suit me…and I’ve seen quite a few of those lately😀 and I have to be honest and say that reading has taken priority this summer – my reading pile is looking fairly respectable now.

    • kaypickard says:

      Glad it struck a chord with you too Jenny. I wish I could lock myself away in a cupboard sometimes. I could just take myself off on another weekend at the seaside by myself when Jan is on night shift again – it’s very tempting! 😊☺️😊😎

  2. Jacqueline Routledge says:

    People are important to us – that’s why we prioritise them, but sometimes we just need time to ourselves to indulge our guilty pleasures; for me, reading, writing, painting, gardening. Easier for me now the nest is empty but I do remember when husband, children, mother-in-law and mother were all demanding my time that I had an inner scream for time to be me. The sad thing for a lot of elderly people is that they have lots of free time every day and no longer have the people who were in their lives to share it with.
    I have a cousin who has terminal cancer. He says he is making a point of doing something he likes every day, however simple that is. Great man.

  3. kaypickard says:

    Yes, you are right Jacqueline; people are important. And I hadn’t thought about that when I do get the time one day to do what I want, I could have just time and no people to share it with. I will try to nurture my relationships with family and friends and hopefully that won’t happen. That’s where the investment in time is important. I know sometimes circumstances are beyond our control but I believe I will be the sort of elderly person who keeps herself busy and interested in everything. I did call my mum back yesterday and she did actually call about something important – to tell me she has sorted and paid for her own funeral! (She’s not dying yet by the way)

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